The Tale of The Orange Sweater
by Stef
Summary: -KenxRan, BradxSchu YohjixEveryone-The dramatic and very serious story of that fabulous sweater. Admit it, you were curious of its origins...


This fic is pretty much the written version of a doujinshi I did about two years ago. In gel pens. Anyway, its funny and I hope you all like it. Leave a review if you feel so inclined. ^_^  
  
---  
  
The Tale of the Orange Sweater  
by Stefi-chan  
  
---  
  
Ran Fujimiya. Red hair. Violet eyes. ORANGE SWEATER.  
  
Before the accident, Ran was a goofy waiter who hung out with his imouto a bit more than the "normal" boys...  
  
Ran: [in his waiter outfit, dancing around and singing 'Hit Me Baby, One More Time']  
  
... well, okay, he was gayer than Christmas.  
  
After the accident, Ran became a mean, katana-weilding princess of DEATH!  
  
Ran: [in his Crashers outfit] Grr.  
  
Yuushi: I'm strangely turned on. It must be all those... zippers.  
  
Ran: O.O!!! [swats his hands away]  
  
Naru: Hey, is that a girl's earring in your ear? [points to the earring in Ran's ear]  
  
...well, a princess of death who wore his imouto's jewelry. Anyway, somewhere in between all this came...  
  
THE ORANGE SWEATER!!!  
  
Orange Sweater: [radiates a heavenly glow]  
  
Here is it's tale.  
  
---  
  
Working as a waiter had its perks, as Ran soon realized. It was called money. And money was young Ran's very first love.  
  
Ran: [walking along the street wearing a little shirt that says 'princess' on it, hugging a wad of dollar bills] My first paycheck! I wonder what I'll buy? [little dollar signs appear in his eyes]  
  
Even though he only made $50, it was a big accomplishment to him. Money meant he had the power to make himself as pretty as he wanted. And boy, did he ever want to be pretty.  
  
Ran: "The best things in life are free", my pale skinny ass! Just think of all the stuff I can buy now! Shoes! Flashy accessories! Shoes! Flamboyant clothing! ...and did I mention? Shoes!!!  
  
He then caught a vision in a nearby store window.  
  
Ran: [has his face glued to the store window] Oh my goodness...  
  
Staring back at Ran through the store window, beside the 'ON SALE' sign... came the second love of Ran's life.  
  
Orange Sweater: [little angels flying around it]  
  
Ran: [with his hands clasped together, staring in wonderment] It's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.  
  
And so, Ran decided that he must have this almost magical sweater.  
  
Ran: [hands over his money at a cash register] There you go! Now gimme my sweater.  
  
Schuldig: [ringing him up] u_u;; Your change, ma'am. [hands Ran over 13 cents]  
  
Ran: You keep that, you've earned it!  
  
Schuldig: You're too kind... [shakes his fist] ...you'll regret this...  
  
Ran: What?  
  
Schuldig: I said thank you for shopping at Schwarz.  
  
Later that day, Ran couldn't resist the urge to show off his trendy new sweater.  
  
Ran: [posing in the orange sweater] Ohohohohohoo!!!  
  
Aya-chan: [annoyed] Aniki, it's 80 degrees outside and you have a sweater on.  
  
Ran: [stops posing for a minute] You have a point there, imouto.  
  
Aya-chan: ^_^  
  
Ran: [rolls the sleeves up] This is much better! [resumes posing]  
  
Aya-chan: Mou...  
  
Later that day...  
  
Aya-chan: [lying in a hospital bed] X_X  
  
Ran: [sobbing hysterically] Ohhh imouto, I'll get the bastards who did this to you and killed our parents! [shakes his fist dramatically] ...Well, once I borrow this earring anyways. Thanks. [puts the earring on]  
  
Aya-chan: X_X  
  
Schuldig: [outside the hospital, arms flailing] He deserved it, he only tipped me 13 cents!!!  
  
Crawford: -_- I don't want to hear it, Schuldig. Now because of you, I have to close my store. I'm having a vision us having to turn to a life of villiany and sex.  
  
Schuldig: But mostly sex, right? [hopeful look]  
  
Crawford: [considers it for a milisecond] No. I'm too mad at you.  
  
Schuldig: D'oh.  
  
And so, after screwing up the first two teams that Kritiker put him on...  
  
Shion and friends: [pose dramatically]  
  
Ran: Hi guys! [waves]  
  
Shion and friends: [all drop dead suddenly]  
  
Ran:Oopsies. [walks over to Crashers, who are standing two feet away, also posing] Hey gang!  
  
Crashers: [disapproving looks] Killing is bad.  
  
Ran was put on yet another team.  
  
Omi: [beaming] Welcome to Koneko no Sum--  
  
Ken: [leaps over Omi and cracks Ran in the face]  
  
Ran: MY FACE! [dives on Ken, screaming]  
  
Ken: GRR! [strangle, strangle]  
  
Birman, Yohji and Omi: [watch the drama unfold... wearing 3-D glasses and turning their heads in unison, every which way the fight headed]  
  
2 hours later...  
  
Ken: [lying on the floor] Ohh, my aching... everything.  
  
Ran: [also lying on the floor] My face, my poor, poor face.  
  
Ken: [looks over at Ran]  
  
Ran: [looks over at Ken]  
  
Ken: [stare]  
  
Ran: [gaze]  
  
Ken: [blink]  
  
Ran: [sparkle sparkle]  
  
Orange Sweater: [goes whizzing past Omi's head]  
  
Omi: Anou...  
  
Other clothes: [go flying in various directions]  
  
Yohji: [gives Birman a Look] Hmm...  
  
Birman: I don't think so.  
  
Yohji: [gives Omi a Look] Hmm...  
  
Omi: O.O  
  
Ran: [gasp] KEN!  
  
Omi: [nosebleed!!] I think I have some homework I have to do... [skitters away]  
  
And that was how Ran became the(albeit questionable) man he is today. 


End file.
